Nothing changes my driving style quite like

"CalzoneGolem" (calzonegolem)
05/19/2016 at 08:46 • Filed to: None

a gallon of soup in the footwell.

DISCUSSION (39)

Stapleface > CalzoneGolem
05/19/2016 at 08:58

You're just not going fast enough. Centrifugal force should keep it in the crock pot ;)

jariten1781 > CalzoneGolem
05/19/2016 at 09:01

I always put the crockpot in a garbage bag just-in-case.

Eric @ opposite-lock.com > CalzoneGolem
05/19/2016 at 09:18

Truth.

I hate crock pots and I don’t trust them.

SteveLehto > CalzoneGolem
05/19/2016 at 09:24

Gallon of Soup In The Footwell was the name of my band’s first album. And, of course, it is a euphemism for an act which is still illegal in 37 states (and Guam).

CalzoneGolem > SteveLehto
05/19/2016 at 09:26

I have a copy on vinyl.

CalzoneGolem > Eric @ opposite-lock.com
05/19/2016 at 09:26

No, you should love the crockpot.

spanfucker retire bitch > CalzoneGolem
05/19/2016 at 09:29

The trick is to get a crock pot that actually has clamps.

Eric @ opposite-lock.com > CalzoneGolem
05/19/2016 at 09:30

They’re made to breed bacteria and produce tasteless food as far as I’m concerned.

TheRealBicycleBuck > Stapleface
05/19/2016 at 09:36

That would require it to be suspended from the glove box.

Chasaboo > CalzoneGolem
05/19/2016 at 09:36

I did this once with a brand new, day 1, MazdaSpeed3, and the hottest girl in the office holding her holiday ham in a CrockPot with about a half gallon of Coca Cola which she had cooked it in.

It was equally terrifying and sexy at the same time.

TheRealBicycleBuck > CalzoneGolem
05/19/2016 at 09:38

You should pick it up on 8-track. Automatic looping and no more popping noise from scratches.

cazzyodo > Eric @ opposite-lock.com
05/19/2016 at 09:40

Pulled chicken tacos beg to differ.

Kinja'd!!!

SteveLehto > CalzoneGolem
05/19/2016 at 09:40

Vanilla Ice sampled that for a few tracks in the late 80s. I would have sued him but he frightened me.

cazzyodo > CalzoneGolem
05/19/2016 at 09:40

You’re not incorrect...it’s like transporting frickin’ radioactive material without the casing.

THIS COULD BE A BIG MISTAKE

Eric @ opposite-lock.com > cazzyodo
05/19/2016 at 09:48

Note the overcooked chicken that must be topped with hot sauce to add flavor.

Crock pots are perfect for making bland American food.

CalzoneGolem > TheRealBicycleBuck
05/19/2016 at 10:01

It’s all about that fidelity man!

CalzoneGolem > SteveLehto
05/19/2016 at 10:01

Clearly he is an unstable human being.

CalzoneGolem > cazzyodo
05/19/2016 at 10:02

Not a drop spilled.

CalzoneGolem > Chasaboo
05/19/2016 at 10:03

It was equally terrifying and sexy at the same time.

Cooking a ham in coke or driving the girl?

CalzoneGolem > cazzyodo
05/19/2016 at 10:11

Yeah this guy don’t know crap. He didn’t even try my soup.

CalzoneGolem > Eric @ opposite-lock.com
05/19/2016 at 10:13

Bacteria? Maybe.

Tasteless? Well, that’s on your cook and my soup is neither bland nor tasteless.

PorkchoPlissken > CalzoneGolem
05/19/2016 at 10:14

Practicing touge, Init D style?

CalzoneGolem > spanfucker retire bitch
05/19/2016 at 10:15

Even the clampy ones don’t have a gasket. My bungee is holding on the cover on plenty tight.

cazzyodo > Eric @ opposite-lock.com
05/19/2016 at 10:18

Must be topped with hot sauce?

I put that shit on everything.

CalzoneGolem > PorkchoPlissken
05/19/2016 at 10:18

Yeah buddy, didn’t spill a drop.

cazzyodo > CalzoneGolem
05/19/2016 at 10:19

I made meatball soup Sunday night. It...was...glorious.

Even my gf, who is not a big soup person, was all over it (which was good cuz it was lunch until yesterday).

CalzoneGolem > cazzyodo
05/19/2016 at 10:22

So that’s like a tomato based soup with meatballs in it? I’m having trouble visualizing this.

CalzoneGolem > cazzyodo
05/19/2016 at 10:23

Hot sauce on Tacos? You’re mad sir!

cazzyodo > CalzoneGolem
05/19/2016 at 10:24

HOT SAUCE ALL THE THINGS!!!!!!!!

cazzyodo > CalzoneGolem
05/19/2016 at 10:26

Nope...I typically use a large pot and cook it there but I actually didn’t have a large enough pot this time around. Beef/chicken broth (I went chicken because I only had ground turkey), potatoes, carrots, etc and the focus is on the meatballs.

Simple, hearty, delicious.

My grandfather used to make it for me every time I visited and I will never, ever be able to replicate it.

CalzoneGolem > cazzyodo
05/19/2016 at 10:35

Interesting. I’ll have to add it to my list of thing to try and make.

cazzyodo > CalzoneGolem
05/19/2016 at 10:57

If I ever get a written recipe from my grandfather I’ll share to Oppo. It will never be duplicated, though, because of the meatballs. He frickin’ inspects roasts, has the butcher grind it up for him, straight-up adds slices or bread as he works the meat and then cooks them in a skillet that’s older than me.

CalzoneGolem > cazzyodo
05/19/2016 at 11:16

And I just use cheap ground beef to make my meatballs, haha

spanfucker retire bitch > CalzoneGolem
05/19/2016 at 11:37

It does if you order the right one. I bought this based on a Lifehacker recommendation and because of the gasket, you have to use the clamps even when just cooking on a flat surface to create a nice seal.

http://smile.amazon.com/Hamilton-Beach…

spanfucker retire bitch > Eric @ opposite-lock.com
05/19/2016 at 11:39

Sounds like a personal problem.

CalzoneGolem > spanfucker retire bitch
05/19/2016 at 11:41

Hey, this is some real consumer advice!

Shour, Aloof and Obnoxious > CalzoneGolem
05/21/2016 at 02:14

Can vouch for this model. You can often find the non-digital version of this gasketed wonder at Walmart for about $20.

Shour, Aloof and Obnoxious > CalzoneGolem
05/21/2016 at 02:16

TRUTH. For me, Potluck Sunday is Slow-Driving Sunday. Luckily, my church is only a five minute drive (normally) with four turns (three stop signs, one light). Generally, I find the braking to be more nerve-wracking than the turns.

CalzoneGolem > Shour, Aloof and Obnoxious
05/21/2016 at 07:51

I have lots of elevations changes on curves. That is dangerous for my soup.